When I moved to Brooklyn about a year and half ago, I was excited to adopt the Nets as my second team. The Nets were the championship favorites heading into the 2021 playoffs, the tickets were still cheap and they were playing a fun brand of basketball— a perfect recipe for basketball joy. Instead, I have watched a toenail, a global pandemic and a flat earther turn the Nets into the most miserable team in sports.
In 2021, just over a year ago, Harden, Kyrie and KD looked like a three headed monster that could only be stopped by a supernatural basketball power. They stomped the Celtics in round 1 and went into the second round against the Bucks looking like a million bucks.
I did my best to find a ‘Nets Bar’ to watch the Bucks series only to find myself sitting next to a corporate lawyer that was “really a Knicks fan”. There were a few Nets jerseys but you were more likely to get a silent fist clench than a roaring cheer, this was the first red flag. Them 43 seconds into game 1, James Harden pulled his hamstring and wouldn’t look himself again (maybe ever), the second red flag. In game 4, Kyrie landed on Giannis’ foot and rolled his ankle, third red flag. Yet, one head remained on the hydra and it took all the power in the Basketball Gods to force KD’s toenail to be just a bit too long causing him to make the game tying 2 instead of winning the series winning 3. The Bucks won in overtime and went on to win the championship.
The signs were there, it should have been clear and obvious to a diehard like me that the Basketball Gods had cursed the Nets. The second I walked into that dead ‘Nets Bar’ I should have turned around and bought another Bulls jersey. Since that legendary series against the Bucks the following has transpired in Brooklyn:
- Global Pandemic
- Martin Luther Irving decided to use his exploding god brain to stand against the vaccine
- NYC implemented a vaccine mandate, preventing Kyrie from playing home games
- The team decided not to let him away games either
- Kevin Durant got injured
- James Harden grew frustrated by the absence of Kyrie and KD’s and the team’s culture
- The Nets went on a major losing streak
- James Harden forced a trade to Philly and the Nets got Ben Simmons back
- The Nets went back on their initial stance and decided to let Kyrie play away games
- The Nets went down in flames against the Celtics in the playoffs
- Ben Simmons managed not to play a single game for the Nets last season
- Kevin Durant and Kyrie tried to force trades out of the Nets… and failed
- KD tried to get Head Coach Steven Nash and General Manager Sean Marks fired… and failed
- The Nets got off to a 2-5 start and looked like a total mess
- Steve Nash actually got fired
- The Nets decided to hire Ime Udoka, who just got suspended for a year from the Celtics for an inappropriate workplace relationship, to be their new Head Coach
Oh wait! I forgot to mention that Martin Luther Irving also just tweeted out a link to a Black Hebrew Israelite conspiracy video that claims Ashkenazi Jews are fake Jews and quotes Hitler! Oh and that he refused to walk his comments back in what was the most bizarre and troubling post game interview that I have ever seen in my life! Honestly, if you are bored and forgot what it feels like to have your jaw on the floor for 6 minutes straight, give this video a watch (it gets especially spicy around minute 5 but its all gold).
I love the nickname Martin Luther Irving for two reasons. First, and most obviously, it’s a play on Martin Luther King Jr. and Kyrie’s completely distorted view of social justice in which he switches between thinking of himself as an activist standing up for BIPOC and then espousing his anti-vaxx, flat earth and Black Hebrew Israelite conspiracy theories. But it is also a play on the OG Martin Luther (95 theses version) who was a known anti-semite! Fun!
As far as I can tell, not a single active player has condemned Martin Luther Irving’s anti-semitism. A starkly different tone from the players “zero tolerance” for Robert Sarver’s behavior. Or from the amazing activism that led to a Wildcat Strike in the Bubble. But, much to my pleasant surprise, lots of former players turned media members, such as Richard Jefferson and Charles Barkely, have used their platforms and broadcasting positions to publicly denounce Martin Luther Irving’s comments. But for players, like LeBron, who have built their platforms in part through social justice, it’s disappointing to see the lack of solidarity.
I was shocked and saddened that Kyrie was not suspended or fined for his comments when other players have gotten punishments for hurtful comments on social media. But look! Kyrie and the Nets released a statement! Kyrie and the Nets “will each donate $500,000 towards causes and organizations that work to eradicate hate and intolerance in our communities”. WOW! I have no idea what those communities are and in that statement but oh boy am I satisfied with that! I also love that Sir Martin Luther Irving does not say that he is sorry or fully denounce the anti-semitic movie. Cool stuff! It’s dope that we can just make problems like this go away with a quick donation, I hope I can be that rich one day.
Wait! I got so caught up complaining about Kyrie Irving that I forgot to talk about Ime Udoka!
Looking to fix a broken locker room culture? Have constant off-court distractions that are preventing your incredibly talented team from reaching their potential? Why not take one lightly used Ime Udoka! He definitely didn’t just get suspended for an entire year from the Celtics. Who cares if he may or may not have had sex with an owner’s wife? Who cares if he may or may not have had a nonconsensual relationship with a female staffer? Who cares if he may or may not have had a track record of this behavior before he became a Head Coach?! Udoka is the perfect guy to help silence all the off-court noise and help the team to get to know each other on a more… intimate level!
Man, I miss David Stern, he would have never let half this shit happen. The might in which he would have struck Kyrie down would have made even the Basketball Gods quiver. Rest in peace my Jewish king!
As a long time KD fan and defender it saddens me to watch him captain the ship of the most epic shit show in NBA history but I will no longer defend KD.
I will no longer kinda sorta root for the Nets.
The Nets are a shame.
The Nets are a shit show.
The Reedbound 